Monday, June 6, 2011

Blog Post Sharing

So I don't know if you know of this blog. Single Dad Laughing. But it is one of my favorites. Today was an awesome post by Dan. I just needed to Share...you will see why.


Just a few thought that I loved, I get asked on a daily basisBy my mother, father, Sister and brother in Law, friends, the bishopric in my singles ward, my father, my aunt, people I meet on the street, seriously every person I talk to, the subject always comes up. What is wrong with that? Oh nothing, only that it makes me feel like crap the rest of the day.

Things You Should Never Say to a Single Person

Well, once again I asked you for some awesome material for a blog post,
and you delivered! The question I put on the Facebook Wall for today's 
post was, "What are the things people say to single people that are 
rude or ignorant?" A lot of awesome answers came through. 
Enjoy (along with my own and some of your slightly snarky retorts).
  • So, why are you single?
    Ummm, maybe because I don't shower and I hate puppies. 
    (I love this one, I get asked it all of the time, seriously. 
    I have stopped trying to be nice about it, when it get 
    asked it 3 times is one night you just want to burst into tears)
  • Just have fun with it!
    Thank you. You've just solved all my problems. I was
    purposefully NOT having fun with it.
  • Have you tried online dating?
    Match.com didn't work so I guess my next move is Craigslist.
  • It just wasn't meant to be.
    Thank you. I've been hoping to find somebody who knows 
    the complete plans of the universe. So tell me, all knowing, 
    who IS meant to be?
  • It will happen when you least expect it.
    How can I expect it less than never? (also another one 
    that I get a lot, and I have to agree, How can I expect 
    it less than never?)
  • There are plenty of fish in the sea.
    Thank you for rubbing my nose in my inability to get any of them.
  • You're just too picky.
    So, you're saying I should settle? (My families personal favorite.
     Everyday I tell you, every day. Maybe I should settle for they guy 
    that doesn't treat me well, or someone I don't get a long with at 
    all or that I am not attracted to...that would make me happy right?)
  • Are you kidding? I wish I was single and in your shoes.
    Poor baby.
  • You're so attractive! What seems to be the problem?
    How do I answer this without making you or me look like a jerk? 
    (Yep, you guessed it. Also one I get all of the time. This one 
    always makes me feel prettier, especially when a 50+ old 
    man is saying it to me.)
  • Maybe you're not trying hard enough. 
    Oooooh. That must be it. I think what you're really saying is
    that I'm not easy enough. (Ha ha ha ha ha ha. According to 
    quite a few people, I do not try hard enough)
  • He just hasn't found you yet.
    Oh, well, then I guess I'll stop looking and wait for him to
     come to me!
  • When are you going to get married?
    When are you going to let me kick you in the teeth?
    (Never, now leave me alone)
  • There  are so many great guys/girls out there.
    So, are you saying that I'm not one of them since they're 
    so readily abundant and I'm still alone?
  • I'm sorry.
    For what? Making me feel like a piece of crap?
  • You'll be complete some day.
    Yes, because I'm so incomplete now. Thank you.
  • You'll always be single until you fix yourself up.
    Meaning... I have to be someone other than me?
  • At least you don't have any responsibilities.
    At least you don't have any tact.
  • You're not getting any younger!
    And you're not getting anything in my will. 
  • Oh, you're the unmarried one.
    Oh, you're the one with a ridiculously large forehead. 
  • Are you gay?
    If I told you I was, would you get off my back?
  • You're too skinny.
    You're too fat. Let's hug and pretend we don't despise each other.
    (Every day for the last month)
  • It must be so nice to be single.
    It must be so nice to be stupid. (Ha ha ha ha!)
  • You know, your biological clock is ticking.
    Thank you for the reminder. So is yours, which means a 
    drop kick to your face won't heal as quickly.
  • Come on over...you won't be a third wheel!
    Well, I wasn't going to feel that way before, but now...
  • Beggars can't be choosers.
    So, I'm officially at beggar status. Please sir... can 
    you spare a girlfriend for a guy down on his luck?
  • Your self confidence scares guys off.
    I think you're onto something. I'll start acting like 
    a pushover doormat. That'll bring me the right kind of guy. 
    (I have also been told that I scare guys off, but who
     whats a guy that can't keep up with me?)
  • Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing"






No comments:

Post a Comment