Pet store here I come.

So realization that my 23rd birthday is in less than 2 months. Ugh. I mean I am excited. I like birthdays. And my birthday is on Thanksgiving this year which makes it even better. Tons of food and presents, even if I just buy them for myself. But 23. That is like practically dead, in the state of Utah. I am not even close to getting married or have I ever been, and I haven't been on a mission, so people look at me and ask, "what is wrong with you?" For Reals. There has to be something major wrong with me if a guy hasn't snatched me up by now. I must have a bag of hair. I can see all the bleary old lady eyes looking me over saying by the time I was your age I already had 5 kids, 3 of them triplets, and all the guys are moving on to the younger, fresher girls that will accept more crap. Maybe that is it. That I don't accept crap, like when a dude doesn't stick up for me or help me when I am clearly in distress. Or when a dude takes me to a cage fight and let's a drunk dude hit on me. Or when a dude lies to my face.....wow. Rambling. That is why I am never getting married. I guess I will sub come to being the crazy fish lady, I will have five 100 gallon tanks consuming all of the space in my tiny home, and I will not be able to clean them all so there will be nasty green goop all over, with poor little Nemo floating on the top.

I am just throwing this out there....

But if you are in a relationship or a potential relationship, facebook is not a good way to communicate. Friends fine, but if you are hoping for something more from this person why don't we try something real? Call them up on the phone, I assume you have their phone number, a finger and a voice. Or better yet talk to them face to face. Honestly what is happening to our generation? Every one is so impersonal and a bunch of pansy's. Just saying.


Oh a different note: I am dying my hair. I have major roots, it just looks like my hair is greasy all of the time.
And who is excited for Harry Potter? Me. Me. Me. I was talking to a friend at church today, he just got engaged and we were talking about the up coming wedding. I asked when the date was and he said Nov. 19th, and I immediately responded with, "You know that is the day Harry Potter comes out."  Wow. Obsessed. And Very Sad.

GLEE!

Oh I love Glee so very much! And I am so in love with the new character! Sam Evans. *sigh*
"Dude, your mouth is huge. How many tennis balls can you fit in there?" Love it! And that voice! To die for. I can't wait to see more of him in the season.

And I decided that he, well the actor Chord Overstreet, could so be Peeta.

If you didn't catch the season premier you need to watch it! It was awesome, besides Rachel who I wanted to strangle. I have never really liked her, but I really really hated her in this episode. But other than that I love it. I just can't get enough of it!

Recurring Dream of Awesomeness

So the last few night I have had the most amazing dream ever. I hate it when I have a great dream and I wake up in the middle. I usually try really hard to fall asleep fast so I can have that same dream, but it never works. I also hate when you have recurring nightmares, I had one when I was little where my older brother Ryan died it was pretty horrible, his skeleton coming out on a conveyor belt, but I never get recurring good dreams...until now! I had it two nights in a row and it was pretty sweet. So I know that everyone has kissed someone in their dreams, do you kiss people you know or people you make up? For me 99% of the time I make up the person...I have only ever kissed someone I have known twice and that was pretty weird and pretty much the best dream ever. I had only ever had a crush on the first person once and that was WAY before I ever had a dream about them and the reason I had a crush on them was mostly from the costume they had to wear in a play that we were both in...he looked quite dashing. But I knew him outside the costume and I was not attracted to him at all. The Second guy I had had a crush on for a very long time. He is the epitome of Beautiful Man. Tall. Athletic. Chin Dimple. That was a very good dream. So other than those two times all The guys in my dreams are pure imagination. And I have a pretty dang good imagination. So this dream: I am at a nicklecade like place and I am kicking trash at all the games racking up the tickets. My arms are over flowing with green tickets, I probably have 5000 +, so I go in to cash in for a prize and guess what my prize is? The most beautiful man. Tall. Athletic. Carved from some beautiful natural oak. Perfectly sculpted nose. Piercing eyes swimming in molten dark chocolate. With a full head of coffee colored curls. He was perfection. He has made cameos in my dreams three or four times but never has he been my Prize. 
If any one you see this man of my dreams call me. I have dibs.


PS: I just made bread pudding from leftover waffles. Oh yummy!

Girls if you could make your own fictional man...Peeta, Edward...for some of you Jacob....what would he be like?

 “If I could have the perfect guy, what would he be like?” So here is my answer….He would....

Love the Lord
Be Humble like Ammon, Alma 26:12
Be Obedient like Nephi, 1 Nephi 3:7, 19:1
Have amazing Strength like Moroni, Alma 48:11 &17
Be diligent like Jacob, Genesis 29
Have Faith like the Brother of Jared, Ether 3:9, 12:20, 21
Have Charity, Moroni 7:45
Be Wise like Solomon, 1 Kings 4:29-30
Be Patient like Job, James 5:11
Be Grateful, D&C 78:19
Be vitreous like Joseph, Genesis 39:9
Have Knowledge like the Sons of Mosiah, Alma 17: 2-3
Be Forgiving, like Nephi, 1 Nephi 7:21
Endure all things, like Joseph Smith (no explanation needed)
And very importantly he has to be Honest like the people of Ammon, Alma 27:27


He would also be……Kind, hilarious, fun, healthy, athletic, romantic, thoughtful, curious, adventurous, spontaneous, intuitive, determined, motivated, playful, clean, good, loving, open, musical, and a life learner, happy, sincere, silly, hard working, even tempered, assertive, courageous, giving, and observant. And he would have an amazing sense of personal style. He should also love to serve and he has to be will to admit when he is wrong….Think of a young Dieter F. Uchtdorf, that looks like Christan Bale but with blue eyes like Paul Newman. Or he would be a beautiful black man with blue eyes like Michael D. Brown.

Volunteering. Do it.

So I love volunteering and think it is amazing and everyone needs to do it! For Reals. I am a CASA, a Court Appointed Special Advocate. I work with kids that have been abused and/or neglected. I think every one needs to find something you love to do and do it. I love working with children so, when I came home from Africa and was slipping back into bad habits of being self-centered and ungrateful I knew I had to change that, so I jumped onto the United Way website and found some local opportunities. I found two that I like and sent emails to both. The CASA coordinator emailed me back first so I went with that! I started training Oct. 2009 and was put on my first case in January. I have been working on that case ever since. My girl that I work with has gone through so much in the past year. Her and her family have moved, she has been to multiple foster homes, multiple schools, she has been in and out of detention facilities, she has gotten new DCFS case workers, but I have always been there. One thing that has been constant in her crazy life. I wasn't sure I wanted to keep doing it after a few things happened but I stayed because I knew my girl would need me. Being a CASA isn't instantly gratifying, it took months for my girl to warm up to me, but I kept going and kept doing new things. We could go to the mall, get lunch, we went to color me mine, cabela's, we made feather headbands and bracelets, and we would just sit and talk.  I have a jar of questions that we asked back and forth and that is when I really saw her for the first time, we laughed and had a great time, and there was this amazing girl in there. And I wouldn't trade moments like that. Those are the rewards. Today I had one of those rewards. I went and visited her. I made her a journal and glued quotes that I love to the pages. We sat on the lawn and talked about her goals and what she wanted, little tears splashed on her cheek when she talked about what she needed to do to change her situation. With being a CASA I get to go to court and the judge sometimes asks me what I think about the case and what should change. I have gone to family team meetings. It has been really great and I have learned so much about court and foster care and DCFS.
So find something that interests you and do it. Stick to it. Every one can volunteer one hour out of their week and help another person in a significant way.

And keep in mind, if you can find an excuse today you can always find an excuse tomorrow.

My thoughts on how to get the girl...that girl being me...ha ha ha

Ok I know this sounds lame, but I have been thinking a lot about this. What does a guy have to do to get my attention? What will "sweep me off my feet"? or really any girl for that matter. So here are a few things I have been thinking about.

Be the Man.
Or more exactly be the Gentleman.

I am just going to throw this out there because it does matter, Dress your age, in clean clothes that are not wrinkled.

Don't be afraid to show the girl that you actually like her and find her attractive. So those that know me know that I can not flirt...first. I do not know how to initiate flirting. I am pretty much retarded that way. But if a dudes starts flirting with me I can keep it going, at least for a little while. Also along that same line, give her compliments. Lots of them. Let her know that you think she is pretty and what you like, that her eyes sparkle or whatever. The best compliments I have ever gotten was from this amazing guy that was/is my best friends younger sisters boyfriend. He always noticed the little things. He is really good at making you feel special and I am so happy that he is with the girl he is with. They are amazing together. But he would say things like, I don't know how you get your hair to look like that, it is beautiful. Or your shirt color is so perfect for you, it makes your skin glow. Or just the simple, you are so beautiful. It will make a girl fall in love with you for that second.
Also don't be afraid of eye contact or touch. Take the small of her back and lead her. Or move her hair behind her ear. But be smooth about it and don't make it awkward.

Be yourself and be comfortable.

Be honest and don't play games. If you want to see her then make it happen. If you like her then tell her. If you want to hold her hand then ask her. If you don't then tell her. If you want to have a relationship with a girl then you have to make it happen. It is like anything in life, if you want it then you have to work for it and make it happen. Communication is the key. Be on the same page, if you don't know what she wants or what she is thinking then ask her.

Don't be afraid to be a little spontaneous. Have fun and laugh! Do something crazy. Don't act crazy, just be yourself.

The number one thing that I love in guys is confidence. If a guy is confident I usually notice. Not over confident and cocky, that is horrible. But if he is not afraid and he can capture a room with charisma then I am hooked.

So if you are a dude and are reading this, please feel free to follow the advice given and go for that girl you have had your eye on. Just do it; what is holding you back? Just my thoughts :)

Venting about my insecurities...read at your own risk

I went to one of my wonderful amazing friends wedding receptions today. I love her so much. We have been friends since high school, so a lot of people I went to high school with were there. I really did not like high school, I always felt like an outsider. I am really insecure and shy...around certain people, I guess. It was just so weird. I mean I was never a "cool" person in school. I did the plays. But I was never anything big and it is not like I stood out as a star, because I really wasn't that good. I just hung out with the theater people, and even with then I was on the outside, never feeling like I fit in.
But at the wedding these people were kind and all that, but I felt all of these feeling from high school come rushing back and taking me over. I couldn't talk to these people, I am so not cool enough. I felt awkward and uncomfortable...I mean what do I say to these ultra "cool" group of people who have all stayed in touch over the years and were all great friends. That are married and have cool lives...So I sat there and listened to them...all of these insecurities whizzing around in my head...I am not good enough, I am not cool, or funny, smart, or pretty, or outgoing, or everything else......
I know I put up this bubble that encloses me and it is all from fear, but I haven't felt that for a long time. It was just weird. I feel awful and mad at myself...I am just going to eat my cream of wheat and go watch a movie...maybe Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind...or Nacho Libre....I just needed to vent my feelings and insecurities....

Tale of the Car(s)

SO here is the story...well first a story about my car. 


My car Suzi, is the best. She is orange and oh so much fun to drive. And I love her very much. But she has been getting fixed for the last 2 weeks. Sarah was borrowing her and she was in Salt Lake with a friend when they  heard Suzi making a funny noise and the check engine light came on. They pulled off the freeway to a gas station and popped the hood, and there were Suzi's innards all over! One of her belts broke taking with it a lot of the wiring, power steering and other things. So she got towed to the south towne auto mall to get fixed....so we have been with out her. Then Isaac took the black car to Price with him to go to school...so that left us the truck, The Van, and my mom's new car. And 4 drivers that all needed to get to work...well my mom walked to work, she was just going to Barratt. 
So on monday I was going to FHE, like I do every monday, in the truck. The truck is a small gray mazda . I got there early to set up chairs but sadly I forgot the keys to the church at home. So I dropped Sarah off and was going to go home to get the keys. As I pulled out of the far end of the parking lot I saw the Bishop pull into the other end. So no more need for the keys. I then pulled off the road and put my blinker on to flip around. I look and look and look again. And started to flip around to go to FHE. Sadly I didn't see a cute little blue car. And they hit right into me...I checked to see if they were ok and they were. I pull off the road and got out. Went around the car twice to see where they had hit me. The police were called and so was my father. I then ran over to the church, which I was practically in the parking lot of, to get someone to conduct for me. So all of the usual stuff happened when things like this happen. 
However, the poor truck was more damaged than you could see. The axle was bent. So it had to be taken in to be fixed. And here is the kicker...I got home that night and looked in my purse and the keys to the church where there...Sigh. I was very, very mad. 
So that put us down to two cars. The new one and The Van. So I have been driving The Van for the last couple of days. It has been rockin'. 
But today I got Suzi back! I am very happy but she cost so so so so so so so, so many so's, much to fix. I am now looking for a second part-time job to pay for her. If you know of anything please let me know! 


PS...on a side note about Mockingjay, I read this review today and it made me laugh. 
"The only un-redeemable quality about the novel is the obvious rush of the ending. The last forty pages were such a blur that even I had to reread to make sense of it all. Upon finishing the ending, tears blurred my vision, as I cast the book into a wall. For some readers, the ending may disappoint the reader for it was contradicting to the entire trilogy’s purpose."


You can find the whole thing here....http://my.hsj.org/Schools/Newspaper/tabid/100/view/frontpage/articleid/369069/newspaperid/3964/Mockingjay_a_Mockery.aspx